Passed Go!

I passed the patent bar last week. I cried at my desk. Then proceeded to throw up in the parking lot. The physical toll it took on me, with the acid reflux and bowel eruptions throughout the insane 6 intensive process, it was a wander I finished every question with seconds left remaining.

I prayed to grandma the night before to help me through the long arduous test. I lit 4 incense sticks, and Kaolin held onto one for me. I waited for the incense to burn all the way down and for the light to fade so that I could fill my famished stomach. Twenty minutes passed and the sticks were only half way through. Time seemed to be on a stand still that night. All I wanted to do was to comfortably prepare for the next day. One stick faded midway through. I relit it and worried that this could have been a very bad omen of what was to come. Why did one fade? It's never a good sign when an incense stick fails to burn all the way through. But perhaps it could also be a warning from grandma. That I needed to maintain stamina and push through. Even though I was starving and the bowl of rice and chicken was tempting me on the counter before grandma's alter, I had to respect time and all the elements surrounding it. I stared at the ashes until the very last moment when the light flickered to quiet darkness. Then I quickly kowtowed and ate my dinner to fill.

In reflection, I think that was exactly the lesson grandma wanted to give me before the next day because that test was hell and the acid reflux could have killed me. I have no doubt now that my grandmother is watching over me. Time to pass go.

A Tangle With Fate

Searching inside me for calm before tomorrow's storm. Tomorrow I will be kissing fate and hope that she kisses back.