The Young Woman and the Sea

Today I took a cab with the kids to pick our car up from the dealership. Our cab driver was a woman in her forties. The deep lines on her face told a story of a long time smoker who's delt with a lot in life. But she was very easy going in nature. I think her mind must have been heavy with thought about something for a while Midway through the drive, she jumped into conversation as though we were long time friends, as though resuming a past conversation that had been accidentally cut off. "So I spoke to my mom the other day. She's planning on moving to West Virginia. She's got family out there and wants to stay for a few months. I think I might go with her..."

It was strange to meet a local person from Sheboygan who felt trapped by this town. Life had been moving in circles for a while for her. She was the first I'd met who felt this way. Anyone else would take offense or feign blasphemy to criticism about this little eutopia. I was impressed by her gutts to take charge of life and seek new opportunity elsewhere. I think she wanted to hear herself speak so that the concept would feel more real. It didn't matter much what my comments were. You could see the hazey look in her eyes and her distant tone that her spirit was already leaving Sheboygan. She was a person in transition embarking on a journey on a hunch that she would find herself at her arrival destination. I wished her the best of luck profusely as we arrived at our destination. God only knows we are kindred spirits on this regard.

It's been a tough couple of years for our family with loved ones passing on and new ones born. We're still riding the highs and lows. Although my husband's career has been on the up, it also means that the work load has increased. The puritanical work ethic at this company is like something on steroids. There are times when I feel like a single parent. My friend jokingly dubbs us Kohler widows. Too bad I'm not on the company payroll for all the personal hours I've had to log in over the past six years. Please excuse my tone at this point. I've had a rough few days.

I am also a woman in transition right now with a plan to execute. I try not to cry over challenges and argue of its unfairness because then I'd be giving into defeat. I would feel deeper in a hole and be confined by self pitty. It takes the skill and fortitude I've developed over the course of my whole life to navigate solo around rocky shores. Wouldn't it be so easy to be sailing on someone else's ship? A bigger and better ship that would withstand all the little knocks and scrapes and turbulence? All I can do is pump my fist in the air and yell, "Screw you fate! You can't get the last of me." What else can I say?

It's been a rough week. We arrived home from a 23 hour car ride visiting family in Philadelphia. Hubby had to get up at 5am next morning to catch an overnight flight to Texas for business. In the last 24 hours, I've had to deal with 2 flat tires, the lower car plate falling off while driving on the highway, not having a ride to pick up my daughter from school, locking myself out of the house, not having my phone, the ever increasing expense of car repair, towing, and delayed pick up of our dogs. I'm on the verge of crying my heart out and probably should before my husband gets home. At the moment I am homeless and wasting time at the office. As the baby falls asleep on my chest, I look out the window at the overcast day. I'm going to really miss my tall window overlooking the tall wooded field outside. I wish I had spent more time here at my office by the woods. It will be sad to leave the quiet peacefulness.