Eat Drink Pray Love

my father has spent the last many decades of his life saying that some day, when he achieved a certain amount of something, he would reward his sacrifices by taking that one big trip and experience life for once.  enjoy his life in some big way to compensate for all those minutes, hours, days, years that he had given himself to create something for a greater priority.  a selfless godful way of living. 

there is an old buddhist story.   a man is chased by a tiger.  he runs up to water's edge by a river.  the river is large.  a fallen tree is laying by the riverbed.  he prays to god and ask for an answer and miracle to save his life.  he is eaten by the tiger.  in heaven, he asks god why god didn't help him.  god answers, "i did.  it was up to you in the end to help yourself.  why didn't you use the fallen tree to float across the river?" 

i have arrived at an epiphany.  a half of one thus far.  or perhaps only the beginning of a new chapter.  it's hard for a woman to make right choices.  the world is unforgiving.  perspective of life is an art of life itself.  the goal?  there may not be a goal.  perhaps the art of just aiming right and just savoring every minute.  pray that it is good along the way.  or perhaps being brave, digging and hope for luck.  in any case, hope takes us to the next place.  

the lesson i want to impart onto my girls, what i have learned thus far at this stage in my life....to not give up hope ever.  that you must always live an inspired life.  be driven with your mind but let your heart guide you.  especially if your intention is to find god.  and seek always the good love, not the bad.  if you are lucky, you will find it within your lifetime.  if not, always still give good love and be brave enough to wait for a good love in return.  in the meanwhile, live however best you can and learn about the good and bad.  how else would you know otherwise a good thing when you have it?